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April 09, 2020

Quarantine — Day 21

So this is what social anxiety feels like

This post is part of an ongoing series in which I document my journey through the COVID-19 quarantine. See Day 1 for full context.

Quick update

I started playing out more aggresively on my content. I published my first post on dev.to, wrote a draft on Medium and also wrote a technical post in this blog. I also tweeted to get more attention on the DEV post and I finally posted a question in IndieHackers to get advice on growth. I’m not used to be that active on social media so I got a burst of social anxiety.

For like 4 hours after publishing everything, I got myself stuck in that nasty pit of checking metrics and notifications all over the place. I was trying to focus on something else but my mind kept wandering and seeking for that dopamine shot on social media.

I read the other day that your unconscious never stops thinking about your dreams and goals. Even when you think you’re distracted, in keeps poking around and seeking for updates on your goals. Now, if I’m honestly concerned about follower growth and banal metrics, that’s what my unconscious will seek whether I want it or not. I need to keep reminding myself, and truly believe, I’m doing this just to help, to give away my learnings - that, I think, will substitute that dopamine intake and nuke the social anxiety.

Data Report

Highlights

  • Avoid news: Yes
  • Write blog: No
  • Personal growth: No
  • Wake up 5:00 am: No
  • Workout: No
  • Help someone: No
  • Time wasted < 90 mins: Yes

Finances

  • Spent: 10 USD
  • Stocks Portfolio (24h): +1.55%
  • Stocks Portfolio (All time): +7.95%
  • Cryptofolio (24h): -1.93%
  • Cryptofolio (All time): +62.94%

Stay tuned.

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I'm Carlos Roso. I'm a Software Engineer at Meta. Former SDE at Amazon. Ex digital nomad at Toptal and Crossover. In love with open source and design.

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